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Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexicans make burritos? So they can unwrap something for Christmas!"

"What did the Hammerhead say to the Great White as they parted ways? I guess I'll see you around chum."

"I want to steal someone's phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself"

"What do stupid kids do at Halloween ? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins !"

"Where did the glue go on vacation? Nowhere! He just stuck around!"

"Royal flushes aren't very common. The Queen's homes must stink."

"You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids."

"*writes on wall in ketchup* THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED Boss: What the hell are you doing? Me: Somebody ate my corndogs."

"What do you call the student with the best overall average in a graduating class at an all girl's school? vulvavictorian"

"This girls skirt is so short I can see how many times her dad missed a dance recital from here."