194046

Joke of the Day

"Man gets his wife roses for Valentine's Day Wife says ""I guess I have to open my legs now"". Man says ""Why? Don't we have a vase""?"

"Asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, ""A way out"" wasn't the right answer."

"What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common? They pay their debts on time."

"Why does a chicken coop have two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan !"

"My dad everyone... Dad: U at home? Me: No. Dad: Where? Me: Hairdresser. Dad: Aaahhh. They putting pants an blouse on ur hair ? Get it. Hair dresser. Lol Ugh."

"Why does a space rock taste better than an Earth rock? Because it's meteor"

"What does ever horse and rider do at the same time? Grow old!"

"Principal: Do you do your homework? Kid: Now & Then Principal: Where do you do it? Kid: Here & There Principal: Put him in the closet!!! Kid: Hey When will I get out? Principal: Oh sooner or later"

"I left my wife for a bin man.... .... But he wouldn't take her"

"If the zombie apocalypse hits and you all need a twist tie, my mom has everyone covered."