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Joke of the Day

"My ex is like cottage cheese... she's lumpy, she tastes bad, and I don't know what she goes well with."

"I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive."

"Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities."

"I just read an article about a woman who killed her husband, boiled his body, and turned it into homemade jelly she kept in her pantry! It was really jarring."

"Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag."

"Just changed my Facebook name to No one' so when.. Just changed my Facebook name to No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say No one likes this'."

"Did you mean pacific or specific? Cuz seriously, one is an ocean."

"Knock knock Who's there? To To Who It's actually ""To Whom"""

"There's a high proportion of people with ASD in scientific fields. Autism causes vaccines."

"My wife just left me because i cant stop using double negatives. But in my opinion I haven't done nothing wrong."