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Joke of the Day

"I just read an article about a woman who killed her husband, boiled his body, and turned it into homemade jelly she kept in her pantry! It was really jarring."

"Yo momma so fat... Yo momma so fat when she talks to herself its a long distance call."

"What the the electrician say to his buddy? Watts up?!"

"What do you call a kid with no friends!? A Sandy Hook survivor!!"

"Hey boobs, keep up the good work!"

"I have an eidolon memory. It's the same as an eidetic memory, but I'm also dyslexic."

"Durex's ""Eggplant Flavoured"" condom won't be the first time a woman's being pleasured by a vegetable. Just ask Mrs. Stephen Hawking."

"Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax."

"The Mistaken Hiker"

"This guy in my office is a little paranoid and it's making it that much harder to poison him."