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Joke of the Day

"TEACHER: Jackie take 932 from 1439. What is the difference? Stella: That's what I say what's the difference`?"

"Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality."

"While Facebook was down I walked up to coworkers & just said 'unfriend' or 'like' & walked away then poked 17 people before I got arrested."

"Did you hear about the new Marty McFly movie... ...Where he travels back in time to become a florist? It's called Back to the Fuschia."

"Have you heard the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless."

"I invented the sandal for people with one leg. It was a flop."

"My mom once got drunk and stabbed me because I look like my Father... Just kidding, she shot me. But hey, the past is the past. She's sober now and I can finally walk again."

"Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted ""you go girl!"" from across the street."

"The Government Don't lie.. Don't cheat. Dont steal. Don't sell drugs. Don't kill. The Government Hates Competition"

"Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin... Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November."