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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there? To To Who It's actually ""To Whom"""

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"You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line."
"Who is a Minion's favorite politician? First ever president of Zimbabwe, President Banana"
"Guys, I ran the numbers, and each 1000 Twitter followers adds about as much actual value and happiness to your life as a taco."
"Love how dog food commercials advertise tastier formulas like that matters when deciding what to buy & feed a pet who eats its own vomit."
"I want to tattoo ""platform 9 and 3/4"" over my ass 'cause you wouldn't think you'd get in there but you can Edit:words"
"Niagara Falls Viagra lifts!"
"I bet the worst part about kidnapping someone is knowing they are just sitting there in your trunk, judging your choice in music."
"Would a gay shop owner decline service to straights? No, because gay people aren't fucking assholes"
"I cannot walk on water, But I can wobble on whisky."