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Joke of the Day

"TIL there is a gay humility parade every year, but no one knows where or when it is. because they are too humble to say."

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"Woo hoo, July 4th wknd! Popped opened a beer, unbottoned my pants, put my feet up. My boss keeps looking at me weird, though."
"HOW DO WELSH PEOPLE EAT CHEESE? CAERPHILLY"
"Homeless people wouldn't be half as poor if they didn't waste all of their money on sharpies and cardboard."
"My neighbor is constantly whining about her small breasts. I think she's being a little too melondramatic"
"Limericks eh? There once was a fellow named Blair Who was having his girl on the stair On the 44th stroke The banister broke So he finished her off in the air."
"What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple."
"Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever."
"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."
"Why was the salt upset. Because his best friend went to join the peperami."