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Joke of the Day

"""A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat."" I don't doubt it, given the shit my boss sends us in email."

"Did you hear about the protests going on outside of Madison Square Garden? Everyone was yelling ""Hands up, Don't Shoot"" but J.R. Smith and Carmelo Anthony just wouldn't listen."

"I got the job as a psychic! I don't know how."

"Congratulations, parents! The names yelled at dog parks are now less weird than the names yelled at playgrounds."

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!"

"I heard the new iPhone is selling well. In fact, it's a real 6s."

"What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ? John."

"What's the most confusing holiday in Harlem? Father's Day"

"The US won gold in shooting They have good schools for it"

"What's better than getting gold in the Special Olympics ? Being normal."