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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about the kidnapping today? It's okay though, he woke up."

"What do you say when it's snowing? Winter is coming."

"I don't know, Your Honor. Last thing I remember was the Polaroid picture crying and I was shaking it like a baby andIT WOULDN'T STOP CRYING!"

"What do you call a broken can-opener? A can't opener."

"[arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer."

"[first date] me: don't let her know you vocalise everything you think her: what? me: shit she knows"

"What's the difference between the Amish and a Ferrari? About 568 horses."

"9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape."

"If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic"

"What did one Redditer say to another? Doesn't matter, the real joke is in the comments."