97506

Joke of the Day

"You can say what you want about pedophiles ...but at least they drive slowly around schools and playgrounds."

"If Jesus came back today, hipsters would be like ""whatever Jesus, the book was better."""

"Be alert The world needs more lerts."

"2-year-old: The dog tastes like dirt. Me: Don't lick the dog. 2: He licked me first."

"Trump Brand Condoms! Guaranteed to be 100% effective. The wrapper is empty but once you or your partner see his face on it you would no longer want to have sex."

"Where do terrorists go to get a bite to eat? the Allahu snack-bar."

"How many psychiatrist does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a really long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change..."

"Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den."

"What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor...? Make me one with everything."

"How does Chris Martin play monopoly? With a paira, paira, pairadice"