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Joke of the Day

"Oh for goodness sake, if abortion was really the same as murdering babies nobody would favour it. Isn't it OBVIOUS you're missing the point?"

"I had diarrhea till 5am It was shitty"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ? Amelia a package last week - did you get it ? !"

"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"I'll tell you what I know about dwarves Very little"

"What does a blind person read in church? Holy Braille"

"Halloween is great bc kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean"

"My husband's signature move in bed is to roll over and take eighty percent of the covers with him."

"My butt was set on fire while I was out with my girlfriend It was really ember-ass-ing."