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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ? Amelia a package last week - did you get it ? !"

"The wife said she's leaving me because she's sick of doing absolutely EVERYTHING for me. If you're wondering why she's typed everything' in capitals,it's to emphasize the point."

"Do you want to be the greatest superhero of all? Be Alfredo and take out the damn trash. Just told my son this, he hates me now."

"Fidel Castro is dead Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals."

"what does my dad and christmas crackers have in common? they show up once a year to make me cringe with their dad jokes, and then give me a shitty gift."

"Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap."

"What do we want? Doppler effect! When do we want it? nooaaaaAAAwwww!"

"So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library"

"I heard there was a bombing in Times Square. But it was just Mariah."

"What do you call a kid who tells bad jokes? A redditor"