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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday. Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive."

"WHAT'S THE POINT OF A PSYCHIC HOTLINE IF THEY WON'T TELL ME WHERE MY OTHER SHOE IS?!"

"Q: What do a telephone and a dog have in common? A: They both have collar ID."

"Croatian salary is like menstruation You get it once a month, it lasts 5-6 days and then you're fucked"

"When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern."

"The worst part about my dad having a ponytail is, whenever we go out to eat, the server automatically hands the bill to me."

"Did you know that ants are free? You can just take one!"

"I know it's 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?"

"Did you hear about the man with five penises? Condom fit like a glove"

"17 year-old Malia Obama playing beer pong is the most outrageous thing the child of a president has done since George W. Bush invaded Iraq"