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Joke of the Day

"Girl are you a tube of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls because I want to bang you on the counter"

"Damn girl, your ass is like an avacado It's that good kinda fat"

"I used to speak in Fleetwood Mac quotes, but I stopped... ...and I'm never going back again."

"What's brown and sticky? The contents of my pants."

"Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor."

"What's worse than lobsters on your piano? Syphilis"

"You can lie about where you went to college & nobody has any idea. Pretty sure you can also just lie about going to college."

"So my friend told me the other day that he was gunna start studying abroad... ...but no matter how many times I asked, he wouldn't tell me her name!"

"Knock knock ... Who's there? Any. Any who? Come in, Canadian!"

"""Vini Vidi Venti"" --I came, I saw, I ordered the large coffee at Starbucks."