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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a little Mexican? A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay."

"What do you call someone who's been kicked out of a fraternity? Hasbro."

"What do I need a girlfriend for? When the Reddit servers are ready to go down on me anytime?"

"Why did Jesus come back from the dead? Because Mary Magdalene was his Horcrux."

"Waking up in the middle of the night to a 4.0 earthquake is kinda awesome until you realize it was not an earthquake & what's that smell?"

"This year's Brits will always be remembered for its fabulous tribute to 'Allo 'Allo!... Featuring the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies."

"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They're both stuck up cunts."

"Did you hear about the schizophrenic accounts manager? He couldn't help but hear invoices inside his head."

"I don't hate anyone. I just don't like people."