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Joke of the Day
"I don't hate anyone. I just don't like people."
Next Joke
"*hands you a marijuana* ""This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."""
"I posted a joke via USPS... ...not sure if it was their fault or mine, but the delivery of the punchline was completely botched."
"The rest of the world uses Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. I just learned some girl I hated in high school likes her new pedicure."
"If you make fun of your significant other's love of Hunger Games are you.... Mockin'Bae"
"What part of the body never wins? Dafeat"
"What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines."
"Being single is nice because I don't have to repeat my mumbled gibberish in a defensive tone."
"Doctor pulls a thermometer out of his top pocket... ""Some asshole's got my pen"""
"My girlfriend knows I love pinball, so she uses just 3 words to let me know when it's sexy time. ""Lock is lit"""