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Joke of the Day

"There's a Little House On The Prairie film in the works, in case any of you are looking to take a two-hour nap in a theatre next year."

"What's the difference between a viola and a coffin? With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside."

"ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses"

"Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? It was rated R."

"What's the similarity between 6th Sense and Titanic? Icy dead people."

"me: so what, you're gonna be angry at me for the rest of your life wife: no, the rest of yours"

"What do they call the pun masters of the streets? Punksters"

"Prom night for my 17 year old daughter, or as I like to call it, 'Dad spends the evening sharpening his axe' night."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Why call him? He ain't coming!"

"What did one casket say to the other casket? ""Is that you coughin?"""