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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an introverted mathematician and an extroverted mathematician? The extrovert looks at the other person's shoes."

"[on phone] ""Press 1 if you're a huge nerd"" ""Press 2 if you're a virgin"" ""Press 3 if y-"" STOP TALKING, DAD! I'm trying to call Xbox support"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown ... and one turns to the other and says, ""Does this taste funny to you?"""

"The AutoZone guy said my battery was out of juice but he didn't say which kind so I'm going with kiwi strawberry."

"the smiley face :) emoticon was invemted becuase, for som reason, peopel are no longer comfortabel with using the words ""i am happy"""

"my girlfriend said I have to give up my love of pointing out objects, or she would leave. I responded: ""well there's the door"""

"I posted a joke via USPS... ...not sure if it was their fault or mine, but the delivery of the punchline was completely botched."

"Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe..."

"How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Apparently she will screw anything."

"Cashier: would u like a bag? Me: no I'll just carry the economy box of pads & Midol out so whoever thinks of kidnapping me will think twice"