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Joke of the Day

"the saddest part about self driving cars will be all the times people die mid trip and then ur dinner guests or pizza guy will arrive dead"

"What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome? If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off."

"Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes"

"I saw two Asian guys backing up a UHaul truck to a Home Depot and it reminded me of a great thing about being white. I know someone with a pickup truck."

"If a cop busts you with a prostitute, slip an engagement ring on her finger & be like ""Joke's on you, bro; we're in love!"""

"knock knock who's there? To To who? AH AH AH, to whom"

"What do you call a pre-historical human who wanders around too much? A Meanderthal"

"You can tune a guitar, but you can't tune a fish"

"The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow."

"Got a great book of Ebay ""How To Improve Your memory"" But for the life of me I can not remember where I left the fucking thing"