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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the story of the Rabbi who lifted his synagogue into the air with a bunch of balloons? He brew up."

"My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it's for shelf-defense."

"Mosquito's are like dirty used needles, that can fly."

"QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? ""WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"""

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? YOU WANNA GO RIDE BIKES??"

"Daughter just told me, ""Dad, I don't make sandwiches, I eat sandwiches."" One day her picture will be on money."

"How does Hilary Clinton clean her glasses? By wiping the mainframe."

"It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones."

"Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids but it's the fathers who are always playing with them."

"Oregon's defense."