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Joke of the Day

"Who is always your friend at school? Your princi-pal."

"Ever try spreading really cold butter on toast? I'm like the human version of that."

"Having kids is a little like when the free sample lady tries to tell you all about the cheese & you pretend to be interested while you eat."

"Have a burning hatred for questions and people? YOU could be a medical receptionist!"

"How can you tell when an Italian car has a flat tire? Dago wop wop wop"

"I just flew in from the gender neutrality conference.... And boy or girl are my arms tired"

"What is white and lies in the grass? A shleep."

"I don't plan on moving to California anymore. Everything is known to cause cancer in there."

"There's a theory that Princess Diana had dandruff. They found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"we are young, we can do what we want, we can party all night, we can kill a guy"