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Joke of the Day

"My friend likes to make carvings of people of religion in his spare time. You'd like a punchline to this, wooden jew."

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"Yo mama so fat, her gravity bends space-time."
"Why do white people shop from black people's yard sales? To get their stuff back."
"Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocain during his root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication."
"Q: What has fifty legs but still can't walk? A: Half a centipede."
"looking for a great stand up comedy show? just watch the GOP debate"
"What can't you hear a pterodactyl go the bathroom? Because the P is silent..."
"What do ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently."
"If I were gonna give advice about how to survive leaving your phone at home, it would be this: stare at something else. I chose a weird baby"
"Have you ever been to a store that only sells lamps? I've heard it's pretty lit."