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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer."

"A good pun is hard to find, like a good steak... *The medium's rarely well-done.*"

"For all the English lovers... The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"My mother asked me today if I was more attracted to breasts or butts.. I told her to shut up and put her robe back on."

"I peeled off the sticker that said ""Don't consume alcohol while on medication."" I don't need that kind of negativity in my life."

"[sees kid crying in the mall] ""What's wrong?"" ""I'm lost."" ""You're in the mall you little idiot."""

"There's a reason why we can't hit bitches. That would be animal abuse"

"What's the difference between you and a rooster? A rooster says ""cock-a-doodle-do"" You say: ""any cock will do!"""

"I can do number tricks in my head They do cartwheels and handstands."

"What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute."