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Joke of the Day

"They refused to take my order just because I was wearing a dastardly Dracula cape. The people at the blood bank have no sense of humour."

"What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!"

"Just changed the names of all the girls in my contact list to: ""Jake, from State Farm""."

"Did You Hear About My Friend? His whole left side was cut off... He's alright now."

"A joke about Muhammad [removed]"

"If you say ""guess who died?"" with a big smile on your face some people get kinda angry."

"The ladder A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, ""You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs."" The man chose the latter. He died."

"The anchorwoman on the local news just reported that Davy Jones from the Monkees has died At first I didn't believe it. But then I saw her face."

"My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. ""Where are you?"" she moaned. ""I'm at the pub."" I replied. She said, ""I think the baby's coming!"" I said, ""She won't get in, she's under-age."""

"Why did the sea-monster eat 5 ships filled with potatoes? Because no one can eat just one potato ship."