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Joke of the Day

"Why did the sea-monster eat 5 ships filled with potatoes? Because no one can eat just one potato ship."

"As I was finishing a round of golf during a lightning storm, I was suddenly struck ...by how peaceful my game was with no one else on the course. I should do this more often!"

"Two yrs ago I weighed 296lbs. Today I weigh 293lbs. Hard work makes dreams come true, folks."

"My Ex-Wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!"

"Why did Hitler REALLY kill himself? He got his gas bill"

"Commercials that never made it to air Here's my entry: ""Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and has ruined your life? Next time, use Durex""."

"Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries? Drunken Donuts"

"What did M. Night Shyamalan say about a duck's penis? What a twist."

"My wife asked me: ""Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home."" I replied: "" I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"""

"Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease? Because the condition was untweetable."