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Joke of the Day
"A joke about Muhammad [removed]"
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"Sleeping guy on the bus has a laughably obvious boner. And now he's waking up. And now he's tweeting about it."
"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."
"Knock knock. Who's there? A puerile, often racist subreddit run on dad jokes."
"*drinks small coffee after 8pm* *spends rest of life on internet*"
"""Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."""
"The Social Justice League doesn't have a Batmobile They have a tumbler."
"Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: ""Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"""
"In the movies, anyone can hotwire a car in 10 seconds. In real life, it takes me 20 minutes to find the gas flap release on a rental."
"MY EX WIFE STILL MISSES ME... But her theoretical trajectory seems to be improving!"