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Joke of the Day
"My neighbors look so happy. We can fix that."
Next Joke
"My dementia keeps getting progressively fruit pants."
"Mike eats all day, that's all he does I guess he's living life to the fullest"
"Wife: why are you smiling? [realizing if Blue from Blue's Clues and Clifford had puppies they'd be purple] Me: I was thinking about you."
"How do you change a cat into a dog? Soak it in gasoline, hold a match up to it, and ""woof!"""
"You sneezed 20 times in a row, I think your brain wants out"
"Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !"
"A paraplegic high school senior can graduate... ...but can't walk with their class."
"I wish I would have listened to my grandma when she told me one day I'd regret not focusing harder on my hitman career."
"Yur mom is so fat Her nipples look like bologna slices."