166064

Joke of the Day

"My dementia keeps getting progressively fruit pants."

"What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison? ""I'm stumped."""

"Q: What do you call a tree from Tulsa? A: An oakie."

"What's the difference between a mexican and a perubian? The passport"

"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame."

"I approached a photographer and took his picture. He had me arrested.."

"Did you hear about the Supreme Court ruling that you can marry a sandwich? Yeah, the BLT community are very excited!"

"the thing about the weather getting colder is that it makes you think you want to date someone when what you want is heavy socks"

"Thanks for telling me this is your ""pet cat"" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat."

"Girl you like is taken on Valentines Day? Just because there's a goalkeeper... It doesn't mean you can't score."