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Joke of the Day
"I killed someone with kindness today. Blood EVERYWHERE."
Next Joke
"Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day during our lunch break when she says ""Remember, you have a wife."""
"What do you do once you're done raping Helen Keller? Break her fingers"
"Did youhear about the Newfie abortion clinic? It's so busy there's a twelve month waiting list."
"""I have a friend..."" ""I have a friend who watches Japanese anime and likes vandalising Renaissance art with drawing pins."" ""Really?"" ""Yeah, he loves A Tack on Titian!"""
"The font for alphabet soup Is times new ramen."
"Nobody is as conflicted as a Jewish zombie about to eat Kevin Bacon."
"Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes? Because he's extinct"
"For decades now microwave designers have labored under the false assumption that people want extra features on their microwave. They don't."
"My toddler fell, smashed his face into the cement, then played it off like he was giving the ground a kiss. No DNA test necessary."