96734

Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the rope joke? Skip it."

"I told my Mom that I was going to the Apple store and she said, ""You sound like you're 4 - it's the grocery store""."

"School buses are the clock blockers of my morning commute."

"What do you call a frog that's parked illegally? Toad."

"The odds of being killed by a shark are 1 in 3,748,067. So if you know 3,748,066 people who haven't been killed by a shark: avoid the ocean."

"Weather man said all you need today is sunglasses and sunscreen but I think I'll put some clothes on too."

"What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police? A small medium at large."

"Bernie Sanders to cut the BS Now wants to be called Ernie Anders"

"Last month I lost my camouflage hat... I'm not sure how I should feel about this"

"How do you fit an elephant in a thimble? You take the ""I"" out of ""thimble"" and the ""F"" out of ""way."""