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Joke of the Day

"What do you say to a man with no body and no nose? No body nose."

"Instead of a wallet, I always keep my money in an envelope that says ""For the orphans"" so people will feel terrible if I'm ever murdered."

"Why were all the ships sinking Because the japanese just learned to fly and were looking for a fun target"

"A national monument to those brave online heroes who were ""First!"" in comments."

"When someone yells ""STOP!"" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen."

"cop: ""can you point at which zebra it was"" zebra: ""ha good luck we all look the same"" me: [points at zebra wearing my sunglasses] ""that one"""

"If Amy Poehler was a cold front.... She'd be the Poehler Vortex"

"What was Hitler's amplifier called? Mein Ampf"

"There are two guys named Ted One is near-Ted, the other is..."

"Can a ninja kill someone from a distance? Shuriken!"