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Joke of the Day

"Why were all the ships sinking Because the japanese just learned to fly and were looking for a fun target"

"sometimes i visit websites that have videos of people making love"

"3yr old had a urine test today so we gave him smarties for peeing in a cup. Now he and his brother are pissing in EVERYTHING for more candy."

"At Fantastic Beasts & some nerds are in Hogwarts robes so I don't know why they're giving me the stink eye for my Wonder Woman outfit"

"People say I'm a mean person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a sweet girl In a jar on my desk."

"Why do Sumo Wrestler's shave their bodies? So that they don't get mistaken for feminists"

"I had a racist incident in my kitchen today.... The black bean soup started dissing the white cream sauce, I finally told them both to simmer down."

"I'm starting to think Twitter has nothing to do with birds."

"Q: What came first; the chicken or the egg? A: The rooster."

"""I have a newt named Tiny."" ""Why do you call it Tiny?"" ""Because it's my newt."""