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Joke of the Day

"Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast? Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear."

"My friend lives on a court with a sign, ""No outlet."" I wonder where he plugs in his TV?"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? it was too tired!"

"I'd share with you the audio log of Felix Baumgartner's jump again... ...but I'd hate to sound like a broken record."

"My ex said he would die for me. All I'm saying is, it was his suggestion."

"Did you know the host of the Discovery Channel's show Dirty Jobs has 2 degrees? In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology."

"My cross fit application was was rejected Bad form"

"I bet earth makes fun of the other planets for having no life"

"How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste."