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Joke of the Day

"To take her mind off being mistakenly judged Miss Universe,Miss Columbia went to get her teeth whitened.. The Dentist told her she needs a crown."

"How do you drown a hipster? ... you push him into the mainsteam"

"Opinions are like herpes outbreaks. Nobody wants them."

"Ya man, it is weird that your wife started wearing the same cologne I wear."

"What did Noah do with all the poop? Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here: http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/240xyy/brilliant_neil_degrasse_tyson_quote/ch2kcxl"

"What's your new years resolution? Mine's 1920x1080."

"I fucked a bitch at work today and guess what happened? Pet store fired me"

"What has 5 balls and rapes the poor? The lottery."

"I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous."

"You act like no one at work has ever asked you to apply ointment to a bunion before."