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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a female accountant? An accountant you sexist fucker."
Next Joke
"Did you hear how Jared Fogel lost his first 40 pounds? He dumped his girlfriend."
"""It's beautiful today. Let's work outside."" *5 mins later* ""This was a terrible idea."" *more bees disrupt the open heart surgery*"
"A lot of schools are back in session. Remember if you study hard enough there will still be no jobs when you graduate."
"What's the worst thing about suicide bombers? They're not organ donors."
"I knew that psychic wasn't legit when she let me write a check."
"I probably shouldn't have spent $500 on that pair of leather sunglasses... But hidesight is 20/20, I suppose"
"A nail walks into a bar And gets hammered."
"Two artists had an art contest... It ended in a draw"
"Sorry I asked ""why?"" when you told me your baby's name."