96247

Joke of the Day

"17 yo didn't do chores last night. I delete all songs on iPod and replace them with the theme song to Scooby Doo. Enjoy the bus to school."

"How many feet are in a yard? 4 if you have a dog."

"Two condoms are walking down a street... When they come across a gay bar, one condom turns to the other and asks, ""What do you think? Feel like getting shit-faced tonight?"""

"With all the racism talk going around I thought I would do my part to put a stop to it. I am no longer going to use the word ""Vinegar"" at work because it sounds slightly racist."

"Reflections on this mirror appear uglier than they really are because of the erroneous standards of beauty set by our judgemental society."

"What is the bounciest place in France? The dordogne."

"""You only want my daughter for one thing!"" yelled my girlfriend's mother. ""That's your fault for not teaching her to cook,"" I said."

"Really? Wow! (The only two things I ever say to kids)"

"What do you call a dog that can preform magic? A Labracadabra."

"Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn't leave much room. It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it."