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Joke of the Day

"Russian history in five words ...and then it got worse"

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"I'm always disappointed when I board a plane and there's no handsome man running after me to stop me. Thanks, hollywood."
"Tequila everyday keeps sobriety away"
"The day I let a dog make decisions for me ....Is the day I go blind."
"Hey Home Shopping Network: We have the internet now."
"Traffic lights are so shy the closer I get to them, the more likely they are to go red"
"I may have Alzheimer's... ... but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!"
"Why doesn't Chris Hemsworth like to eat Fruity Pebbles on set? his lips were Thor"
"When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish."
"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""are you aware that there is a wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies, ""AAARGGHH it's driving me nuts!"""