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Joke of the Day

"Reflections on this mirror appear uglier than they really are because of the erroneous standards of beauty set by our judgemental society."

"If your boss says ""Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to be in at 8am?"" don't correct them. Its a trap. They hate being wrong."

"Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway."

"How did Han Solo enter the world? On the perineum falcon!"

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"I have a cramp in my penis... could you rub it for me?"

"Did you hear about the singing laptop? It's a Dell."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"Saw a couple standing in the park holding each other tightly, silently, not moving. I was touched. Both their phones must've been stolen."

"Woman's world cup- USA vs JAPAN who gives a fuck..."