96186

Joke of the Day

"I remember as a child, lying in bed waiting for Santa to come... Then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"Imagine having cocks for hands and then being in business type situations where you have to shake hands. How embarrassing."

"Oscar Pistorius has the worst alibi ever. Who the hell would break into your house to rob your bathroom?"

"I shouldn't laugh at all what is brown and lives in a tree? - - - - - - - - -a stick"

"My friend came out of closet to me recently ""I am gay"", he said to me. I didn't believe my friend. I thought he was kidding. I said... ""How can you say that with such a straight face?"""

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? The headline read ""Small medium at large."""

"For everyone that works in a restaurant, or uses shredded cheese, Don't vote for trump! He wants to make America grate again!"

"What's a hipster's favorite painkiller? It's a local anthesisia anesthesia, you've probably never heard of it."

"*doctor moonwalks into office* ""Your test results are back Mr Johnson. You tested positive for BEING FABULOUS!!"" *Mr Johnson does the robot*"

"Gay pride parade? Why isn't there a straight pride parade? They tried that but people kept on thinking it was the checkout line at Home Depot."