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Joke of the Day

"If you had an orgy without any Scottish people... You'd be getting off scot-free."

"A Catholic priest and a rabbi are sitting together on a bench when a young boy walks by... ""Let's fuck him!"" says the priest. ""Out of what?"" asks the rabbi."

"A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.. ""You mean a martini?"" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, ""If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"""

"Q: Why was the cat afraid of the tree? A: Because of its bark."

"My new years resolution is going well, lost 10 pounds! but that was down the back of my sofa...."

"Q: Why is the most intelligent part of your body so intelligent? A: Because it nose."

"The Dallas gunman was a bit late. I know he wanted red whites in blue, but the 4th of July was like a week and a half ago."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the award? He was out standing in his field."

"My dad is really good at playing hide n' seek! It's been 12 years since we started and I still haven't found him!"

"Nothing says ""I don't take you seriously"" like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."