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Joke of the Day

"A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.. ""You mean a martini?"" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, ""If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"""

"blondes Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""

"Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval."

"Amish girl Do you know why the amish girl was excommunicated? Two mennonite"

"A baby seal walks into a club And later dies from complications of severe brain damage."

"I was gonna make a sodium joke but... Na"

"Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed? Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule."

"Wife: Did you want to go to Comic Con? Me: *Google searches 'Is Emilia Clarke going to be on the Game of Thrones panel at Comic Con'* ""No"""

"I put an ice pack on my crotch And then I cold-cocked my girlfriend."

"Cell division, explained: o 0 8 oo"