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Joke of the Day

"What happened when to the psychoanalyst when he went ice skating for the first time? A Freudian Slip"

"How do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Stick"

"I wrote a poem today! Half of it is true. The other half is just a bunch of lies to make it rhyme."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't have sex with her. She said ""Speak now or forever hold your piece"""

"They opened the tomb and were all, ""Where'd he go?"" and the angel said, ""He's at IHOP for never-ending pancakes"" and they were like, ""Word."""

"What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? Boy Scouts come back from camp."

"When I see a kid on a leash I assume they were a dog turned into a kid by a witch & the owners have yet to figure out how to turn them back."

"You don't give up your car when someone else drives drunk! So why would you give up your gun when someone else commits a crime with a gun?!"

"Kids these days sure do love taking pictures of mirrors."

"If Claudia Schiffer married Brains from The Thunderbirds, she would become Claudia Schiffer-Brains. Claudia Shit for brains."