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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? Boy Scouts come back from camp."

"[plumber] well here's your problem.. *keeps pulling tied handkerchiefs from toilet* [magician] it was like that when I bought the house"

"A three-legged dog walks into an old-timey saloon ""I'm lookin' for the man who shot my Paw."" (I know it's old but I'm feeling really down and this joke cheers me up.)"

"Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning."

"What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains."

"The best way to get the woman of your dreams is to comment ""gorgeous"" on a minimum of 52 of her selfies."

"Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week."

"Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber."

"KNOCK KNOCK.....WHOSE THERE? GESTAPO"

"What sound does a cow make? Sssssssss...."