157312

Joke of the Day

"You don't give up your car when someone else drives drunk! So why would you give up your gun when someone else commits a crime with a gun?!"

"You can reduce your weight by one simple exercise of shaking your head horizontally. Do it when you are offered food"

"Never take a cows job for granted: It's outstanding in its field."

"I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else's"

"16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman Nananananananananana Batman"

"98% of lawyers give the other 2% a bad name"

"Chuck Norris once went skydiving without a parachute, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough."

"""Son, I found a condom in your room."" ""Gee thanks, Grandpa."" ""Why are you calling me Grandpa?"" ""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."""

"I held the door ... open for a gorgeous blonde at the bar last night. My wife said, ""You've never held the door open for me."" I said, ""What about that time you threatened to leave?"""

"Theres a new STD for birds.. It's called Chirpes. And the worst part? Its untweetable."