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Joke of the Day

"Mother tells her computer geek son, ""Go get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."" So he goes, and returns with 6 cartons of milk."

"I bought a girl a drink at the bar. It hurt to see her give it to her boyfriend. But it was hilarious to see him drink the roofie."

"What side of the chicken has the most feathers? The Outside!"

"How do Astronauts screw in a lightbulb? They don't: They screw in a vacuum."

"Silly Political/Finance Joke What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common? They're all going to be 65 this year."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who ? Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !"

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it seen the Salad dressing ( I'll see myself out)"

"Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts? Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive ""rincoln towncah""."

"Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married?? A Cantaloupe."

"Pluto I got good news! You are still not a planet but you are a star now kid!"