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Joke of the Day

"If Usain Bolt was an electrician... His name would be Usain Volt"

"It's still Valentines day for another hour.. Roses are red Violets are blue No, they are violet FTFY"

"My girlfriend accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne."

"Fun fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, ""Marco"" and then an even fainter, ""Polo."""

"Did you hear about the new Jason Bourne movie, still Bourne? It was set to come out next year but the plan was aborted"

"I was just gone for a moment When the jews came into the Palastinian territory to found Israel they were like: ""Thanks for keeping my place warm"""

"Why does iron man have a vagina? Because he's a Fe male"

"Ever wonder where the happiest place in the world is? It's gate 25 @ Kansas City airport after they announce 2hr delay for flight to NYC."

"Computer does what you command him to do but not what you want from him."

"What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ? An umbrellaphant !"