95504

Joke of the Day

"if a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ..i just get in the back seat"

"What is a euphemism for gay wizard sex? Taking it in the Dumbledore."

"I went to the barber before I had my SAT yesterday it really helped me clear my head"

"I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend, her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was too proud to run after it."

"My Grandad is always complaining about how much things cost. ""Two quid for a cup of tea?!""... I said, ""Well you just popped round, I didn't invite you!"""

"*stranded on island* *puts message in bottle and throws it into sea* *years later gets message back* what's updog? *fist pump*"

"OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO UNPLUG THE TOASTER [flash to dog in sunglasses waiting for his fifth batch of waffles to pop up]"

"Noble chemistry jokes Argon walks into a bar, and the bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here."" Argon doesn't react."

"Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)."

"I got banned from my chiropractors office. Apparently its not ""appropriate"" to ask for a happy ending."