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Joke of the Day

"Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!"

"Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art."

"Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency? So the men can think of a solution in silence."

"How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and three to make a t-shirt about it."

"If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you is all I need. Don't concern yourself with how I got in your house."

"Doctor Doctor my little brother thinks he's a computer. Well bring him in so I can cure him. I can't I need to use him to finish my homework."

"i'd tell a joke about a vampire but... it'll suck"

"Why couldn't the alcoholic become a lawyer? He just couldn't pass the bar."

"Whenever a guy peeps into my phone, I open the front cam and take a selfie with him."

"What do the song ""Dixie Chicken"" and a Klansman have in common? You would refer to both as a Fowl(/ul) Southerner."