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Joke of the Day

"Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art."

"If it's true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?"

"50% of analysis is... anal."

"""It's one of those new Hoverboards!"" 9: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together. ""Don't be silly. Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"""

"Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!"""

"What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies."

"I thought one of the ten word-play jokes my dad told would make me laugh, but... no pun in ten did."

"Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man? On charges of ""impersonating a police officer""."

"Give me a minute, I can make this about me."

"Did you ""ask"" me or ""axe"" me? Because seriously...... one is murder."