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Joke of the Day

"You can tuck a carrot into bed , but it won't know what you are doing because he's a carrot"

"I'm not an alcoholic, an alcoholic NEEDS a drink... I already have one"

"What did the dead magician say? Abra-cadaver"

"I like my coffee like my women... Piping hot and all over my lap in the McDonald's drive thru (backs away very slowly, opens door without turning around, lurks out...)"

"Hey girl are you from Tennessee? Because I was wondering if you'd still be interested in me if I wasn't your cousin"

"I flunked out of clown college due to taking it too seriously."

"Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25"

"I followed this woman on a bike with an empty baby seat for a half a mile yelling, ""your baby jumped out!"" before she gave me the finger."

"How Long is a Chinese name ..."

"Joe was chopping wood with his Dad Joe: Dad, I think I want to be a pilot! Dad: That's great, start over there. You can grab that wood and pile it."